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The Onion (311 Links)
Created by
MyPropsMonkey
1 year 95 days ago in
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"America's finest news source." This channel is automatically updated!
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First Baby Of 2010 Finally Born
Posted by
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feeds.theonion.com
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News In Photos
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Sports: Newest Bronco Brady Quinn: 'The Brody Qualls Era Has Begun'
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DENVER—In the first of what is expected to be a long series of gaffes with his new team, quarterback Brady Quinn bungled a statement to Broncos coaches, players, and fans Tuesday by mistakenly declaring that the Brody Qualls era had begun in Denver.
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In Focus: Pope Forgives Molested Children
Posted by
MyPropsMonkey
1 day ago
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feeds.theonion.com
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VATICAN CITY--Calling forgiveness "one of the highest virtues," the pope absolved priest-molested children of all sin.
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Sometimes, Area Woman Just Feels...
Posted by
MyPropsMonkey
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feeds.theonion.com
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BELMONT, NH—"It's not anybody's fault, honestly," said 28-year-old Megan Slota, standing in her kitchen and holding a mug of tea with both hands. "Sometimes I just get like this where it's like I'm not, I guess, whatever. We don't have to
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Sports: Entire Nation Picks Same Bracket
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2 days ago
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feeds.theonion.com
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WASHINGTON—Citizens across the United States have selected the exact same teams to win every single game of the NCAA Tournament, handing in millions of completely identical brackets, college-basketball-pool organizers reported Thursday.
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[video] YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video
Posted by
MyPropsMonkey
2 days ago
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feeds.theonion.com
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YouTube is offering a cash prize to the first user to upload a video with a shred of originality or artistic merit.
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Local Neurotic To Undergo Invasive 32,000-Hour-Long Therapy Procedure
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MyPropsMonkey
2 days ago
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feeds.theonion.com
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NEW YORK—Manhattanite Ted Friar, who has been battling chronic neuroses for more than 20 years, elected to undergo a highly invasive...
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Erectile Dysfunction Linked To Heart Disease Fatality
Posted by
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2 days ago
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feeds.theonion.com
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German researchers have found that erectile dysfunction is a strong indicator that a man will die from heart disease. What do you think?
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Sports: NBA Honors Latino Community By Using Spanish Word For 'The' On Jerseys
Posted by
MyPropsMonkey
2 days ago
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feeds.theonion.com
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Sports: Carmelo Anthony Called For Traveling Back In Time
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2 days ago
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feeds.theonion.com
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HOUSTON—Nugget's forward Carmelo Anthony made no secret of his displeasure with game officials Monday night after being whistled for a rarely called traveling-through-time foul late in the fourth quarter of Denver's 125-123 loss to the Rockets.
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We Almost Go Inside The Mind Of Tim Burton But Then We Were Like 'Eh'
Posted by
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2 days ago
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feeds.theonion.com
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We Almost Go Inside The Mind Of Tim Burton But Then We Were Like 'Eh'
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[audio] ACLU Defends Nazis' Right To Burn ACLU Headquarters
Posted by
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2 days ago
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feeds.theonion.com
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Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
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Jackson Estate Signs 250 Million Deal With Sony
Posted by
MyPropsMonkey
3 days ago
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feeds.theonion.com
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Sony Music will pay the estate of Michael Jackson up to $250 million for the right to continue selling his back catalog and release as many as 10 new...
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In Focus: Hillary Clinton Wows Russians With Poignant Chekhovian Monologue
Posted by
MyPropsMonkey
3 days ago
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feeds.theonion.com
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News In Photos
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Opinion: I'll Be Able To Get This Big Pot Of Chili Over To My Friend's House A Lot Quicker If I Put On My Roller Skates (by Rudy Lavelle)
Posted by
MyPropsMonkey
3 days ago
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theonion.com
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Done! A heaping, hearty 10-gallon pot of Rudy's Famous Five-Alarm Chili, simmered to perfection and all ready for the big party over at my friend...
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[video] Hot New Relationship Book Warns Women: 'Wake Up! He's A Shapeshifter'
Posted by
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3 days ago
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Bestselling author Craig Wheedon stops by Today NOW! to urge ladies to face the truth and dump the shapeshifter.
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Report: Music Industry Made 18 In 2009
Posted by
MyPropsMonkey
3 days ago
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feeds.theonion.com
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NEW YORK—The Recording Industry Association of America announced Tuesday that the combined revenue brought in by Warner, Sony, EMI,...
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Wise Council Of Elders Accuses Day Nurse Of Stealing Change
Posted by
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3 days ago
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theonion.com
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GLENS FALLS, NY—"No, not the Oriental nurse, the colored one," Hillside Assisted Living Center elder Tom Stansell said before shutting his eyes and somberly bowing his head in silence for the next 35 minutes. "Always telling me what to do.
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In Focus: Man Who's 116th Irish Proud Of His Irish Heritage
Posted by
MyPropsMonkey
4 days ago
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feeds.theonion.com
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KENOSHA, WI--Despite being just 1/16th Irish, Dennis Kroeger, a 27-year-old marketing manager whose great-great grandmother hailed from County Cork, is fiercely proud of his Irish ancestry.
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What's Our Spring Cleaning Project?
Posted by
MyPropsMonkey
4 days ago
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What's Our Spring Cleaning Project?
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